From Banbridge to death row

If you haven't read my general post about our Georgia visit, its right below this one, so don't miss it. Also, there are photo albums links from all parts of our trip over on the right hand side of the web page somewhere, so you can see all of the photos by clicking on them. I only put a very select few onto the blog.

So, Saturday was the big day. My first ever time inside a prison, and the first visitor E had received for years. His family stopped visiting once his Mum died. I think he has only had one or two visits in 12 years or so, both from his cousins who were passing by on holiday from another state. There are some things family just can't deal with I suppose. Some of his family chose never to visit him, I guess as a sign of their disapproval of his crime, or because they just couldn't deal with it. Others did visit at the start, but over the years they have forgotten him, in the business of their own lives. It happens to many of the prisoners, whether on death row or not. Family and friends promise to visit and write, but just as when people move away, they soon forget. They probably keep reminding themselves that they must write some time, but then they promptly forget again, and that's just the way it is. As with all families, sometimes enough is enough and people just can't deal with the pain any longer. E's Father never visited him in prison. I do understand this. I also understand that his mother did visit him. She had an unconditional love for him right up until her death, as he was her only child and she stood by him through right or wrong. His Father on the other hand, could not understand or forgive his crime and chose to walk away from him. I know that this hurt E, but I also see why it happened. Sometimes the people we love just go to far, and the only way to deal with it seems to be to walk away.

About 3 years ago, when Barney was young and I had nothing to do but housework and more housework, I decided that I needed to do something that was worthwhile, interesting, and beneficial to someone other than myself. At the time, the kids were home educated, and were trying to find overseas pen pals. I was looking through kids pen pal sites with them when we stumbled across the writeaprisoner site. We read some of the ads from men in prison and Jimmie asked me if I would write to one of them. I said I'd think about it, but really I was just fobbing him off as I had no intention of doing any such thing. A few days later Jimmie asked me again if I would write to one of them. And he kept asking me for weeks. He seemed to really understand their loneliness and felt for them. One night I sat at the computer and sifted through the hundreds and hundreds of ads. A lot of the ads were more like dating advertisements. But I soon realised that the ads from the men serving life sentences, or on death row, were heart felt and desperate. The ads from many of the men serving just a few years were simply looking for a girlfriend. So I started reading the death row and lifer ads. I thought about writing to some of them, but I was fearful of many things, some of them real fears, and some daft unfounded fears (like what if they escape from prison and come looking for me - across all that sea and land, lol).

So I set about making a short list from the ads of people I liked the look of, then I researched their crimes on google (nothing is private in the US, lol) and eliminated anyone who's crime I couldn't deal with. I certainly didn't want to write to any pedophiles, and I didn't really want to write to anyone who had murdered a young woman about my age. So I mostly chose people who had committed store robberies that had gone wrong, or that got caught up in drugs at a young age and ended up leading a life of crime. I wrote to four men. One wrote back several times and then stopped writing, one never replied, and one wrote back saying he had a good pen pal and thought someone else may need my letters more. The last man was serving his sentence next door to E. The morning that my letter arrived in the prison E was talking to R and saying that he just needed a friend, perhaps someone to write to. Minutes after that conversation my letter to R turned up. E asked R how he managed to get people write to him and he told him about the writeaprisoner website, but E just couldn't afford an ad on the site as he has no money and no one to send him any money. A few days later E asked R if he had replied to me, and he said No. So E said that if R wasn't going to reply then perhaps he could write to me instead. And so R gave him my letter, and he started to write to me.

At first I was a bit worried about receiving this strange letter from a person I had not researched and hand picked. The letter was very apologetic for bothering me, but also kind and friendly. I wrote back and before long we were writing to each other once a week. It was obvious that my letters were having a positive impact on the quality of his life. He had been in prison since the early 80's and had absolutely nothing to look forward to, only the eventual reality of his execution. My letters gave him something to think about, something to talk about, and something to do. Apart from reading and writing the prisoners on death row in Georgia get nothing to pass the time.

We have been writing now for over 3 years. I have a huge box of letters from E, as well as various other things he has sent me, including photos and his gold cross pendant. We spoke on the phone twice, but the cost for this was extortionate. Never, ever, did either of us think that we would ever meet. Not once did it cross our minds, as we live thousands of miles apart. But once this trip across the US was planned, and I knew we would be driving right past the border of Georgia, I knew it would be wrong to just drive on by and not visit. So with only 3 weeks to organise it I posted a message on writeaprisoner (WAP) asking if anyone knew how to arrange a visit. Thats when Leslie emailed me (see the post about Georgia for more on that).

With only hours to spare at the end, we managed to get our police checks mailed to the prison and our visits authorised. Unfortunately, due to a misunderstanding we did not get permission for the kids to visit with us, which meant that Dan and I had to visit separately (as one of us needed to stay with the kids). I know E was disappointed not to see the whole family together. He wanted to see what sort of a Mum I was and how I dealt with the kids etc. He was looking forward to taking their sides if they were told off!

Strangely I didn't feel at all nervous about going into the prison. I was more worried about how claustrophobic I would feel being locked in rooms, than I was about meeting E. I had to sign in, outside the prison. Then I was taken inside and asked to empty my pockets. I was allowed to take in $20 (in $1 notes), a few quarters, and absolutely nothing else. This money is to buy the prisoners foods and treats from the vending machines. I had to walk through a metal detector, and then I was given a coin with a number on, and a piece of paper with E's details on, and told to walk up a long corridor & up some stairs until I'd come to a kiosk with a prison officer inside. I also had my hand stamped. So this I did. When I got to the kiosk the officer took the paper with E's details on and a message was sent to his cell to tell him he had a visitor. I know that E was sitting on the end of his bed, a ball of nervous energy, waiting, by this point. Then I was allowed through one set of big yellow barred doors, into an area with another set of barred doors. Behind these doors I could see people visiting. The officer asked me to put my hand under a machine, and I could see then that my hand had been stamped with an ultra violet stamper, with a date or some numbers on it. He told me to go through the next set of doors into the visiting area and wait until I heard E's name called.

The visiting area was like a crowded waiting room. I had expected desks with numbers on, and stern faced prison guards watching your every move. But it was nothing like this. There was only one guard in this room and she was a happy chatty little thing. However, the prisoners in this room were not on death row and this was not where my visit would take place. When I heard E's name called I expected to see him, but the guard told me to go through another set of barred doors, into an area surrounded by about 6 more barred doors! It was in here that I saw E through a window in a small room. He was waving wildy and looked so excited. I was so glad that I recognised him. A few barred doors and lots of keys later I was allowed into the room. What a strange place to have a visit. Obviously years ago prisoners had received non-contact visits through glass, and I was now standing in one side of that glass room. Except now, both the prisoner and the visitor were on the same side. The room was about 4 ft wide and about 50 ft long. There were four of these rooms, and prisoners from each death row block were allowed into the corresponding visit room. So, all the people receiving visits in that room were from E's block.

Surprisingly to me there was no prison officer in the room. I was let in, the door was closed behind me and locked, and then another door was closed onto that door and it was locked too. A prison officer watched all four of these rooms from a window at the end, but I noticed that the guard at the door took an awful long time finding the right keys when it was time to let me out! E's face was a picture when I was let into the room - huge smiles all round. We hugged each other and then sat down. There was no guard to say we couldn't hug as I had expected. All he could say for quite some time was that he couldn't believe I was really there! He kept looking at me, looking at my hair, at my hands, at my clothes, my eyes etc. I asked him what he was doing and he said he had to take it all into his memory as he would never see me again, and he didn't want to forget. We talked for four hours, and after every conversation he said again "I just can't believe you are here, I can't believe you came all this way to visit me". I said that I had never imagined I'd visit either and he said "I bet you never thought you'd be sitting on death row in a room with four murderers". Gosh. He was right. I had never thought in my life I'd be in that situation. Across the length of the visit I met about 6 other men from E's cell block. They all knew about me and knew that E had been expecting my visit. They all shook my hand and asked me about Ireland, and what sort of music I liked, or what I thought of America. I tell you this, if you ever met any of them in a supermarket or a restaurant, or at your work, you would never ever guess that they were dangerous men who had taken innocent lives. They were all polite, intelligent, seemingly sane and rational. I sat and chatted with them all as if I had just met them in a bar or something!

I think this is my problem with the death penalty. These men, no doubt, were once dangerous and a threat to society, and maybe they still would be if they were let out. But most of these men will be kept in the prison for twenty years or more before being executed. And by the time their execution comes they are not the person they were when the crimes were committed. I don't believe in the slightest that people should be able to kill and get away with it. But what is the point of reforming someone, giving someone time to see the error of their ways, and then killing them anyway? I saw how E communicated with the prison guards. They were almost like friends. Laughing and joking together. He told them "this is the girl I was telling you about, who came all the way from Ireland to see me", and they talked to me and knew all about me. But yet these are the same men who will one day come to E's cell and walk him to the room where they will kill him.

We talked about all sorts during the visit and I bought him burgers and chicken wings, and snacks and drinks. I also bought him a cherry pie type thing from the vending machine and his face lit up as he said it had been 19 years since he had seen or eaten one of them. We were able to get our photo taken by an official photographer (also an inmate). The photos were taken in the corridor. Much to E's disappointment they brought in a new policy that inmates had to be handcuffed during photo sessions. The prison guards apologised to E as they cuffed him, but he made no fuss and later told me that he didn't want to cause a fuss in front of me. But the other inmates were fuming about the new policy as they had been photographing un-cuffed for 20 years. I didn't see the point behind it, seen as I had been locked in a room with four un-cuffed inmates for several hours anyway. We took two photos, a sensible one, and a silly one. E has the silly one and I have the sensible one, as he really wanted the other.

We talked about everything. He described what receiving my letters and photos was like, and we talked a bit about his crime and how he feels about it now. He told me that his final appeal is over and it wasn't successful. He is waiting on some kind of ruling from a judge or something but his lawyer has told him to expect a final judgment in 24 to 36 months. He said that he didn't tell me this in his letters as he didn't want to worry me. He talked more to Dan about this. Dan had an hour visit after my four hour visit. He told Dan that we mustn't be upset when he is executed. He said that was is done is done and theres nothing to be done about it, and that Dan must make sure that I don't get upset. Dan told him "listen here mate, she will be upset, and there is nothing you or I can do about it, she will be heart broken". He told Dan that after his execution all his possessions will come to me. All the letters and photos I've sent will be sent back to me via his lawyer. His lawyer has my phone number, address and details and knows that if anything whatsoever happens to E, then he is to contact me. I feel rather sick just writing about it now.

But the visit was good. I know E will be smiling for weeks. I am glad that I got the chance to meet the person I have written over 300 letters to. To meet the person whose letters make me laugh out loud. And I'm glad to have made a difference in someones life. Someone who many people think doesn't deserve a friend, or comfort. Someone who the government of America will kill in cold blood. I don't deny that he once led a bad life and has committed bad and regrettable crimes, and I'm deeply sorry for the families that have been hurt through his actions. I don't condone it. But I just don't think that this is the right way to deal with it. When an inmate is executed it is not just him that suffers, but his family and friends too. The people who love him are also punished, in just the same way as the victims family. I think its all just crazy and I can't write about it any longer.

Georgia

What an amazing few days we have had! And how frustrating to be without internet access and unable to tell you all about it. As most of you know, our reason for traveling up into the heart of Georgia was to visit my pen-pal who is on death row there. But I'm not going to talk about that yet, or I will get carried away and forget to mention everything else.

The drive from Okefenokee to the area of Jackson took about 4 hours, but as usual we made regular stops to eat and stretch our legs. It was a scenic drive through pecan orchards and cotton fields. I didn't get a photo of a cotton field, but I did manage to sneak a bit of cotton from one of them. The kids will stick it into their travel scrapbook. We traveled up on the Friday morning, but it was only on Thursday afternoon, after many phone calls, that we were finally authorised for our special visit with E. Dan made reservations at High Falls State Park, purely because it was near the prison and reasonably priced, but we didn't have much idea what the RV park would be like. The area around the park was pretty run down, but enthralling for any non-American, as every building looked so much like something from an old western film set. There were little shacks that would be condemned to less than garden sheds in England, that were selling boiled peanuts or hot dogs! The drive down into the RV park was very steep, completely wooded, with occasional glimpses of the Towaliga River. The area was originally inhabited by the natives who killed and scalped the first settlers to arrive here! But eventually it became a thriving industrial town until the late 1880's when a rail bypass devastated the the businesses and created nothing more than a ghost town.

The RV park turned out to be a beautiful, peaceful place. Full of trees and right next to the river. Once we had booked in and paid, we could drive round and pick a lot to park up in. We picked a spot opposite the river, with a large green area of trees behind for the kids to play in. I was really impressed with the park. It was spacious. Each lot was quite some distance from the next lot. Obviously the emphasis was on enjoying the area, rather than making as much money as possible, as they could have easily squeezed 5 times as many RV lots into that space. The people staying there were all quiet, respectful, nature loving people. No one made noise at night or early in the morning, and there were no trains! (Here is a picture of Thelma parked up with the grassy area behind). Each lot had a picnic table and a fire pit, as well as electric and water.

As soon as we got there the kids wanted to explore. I decided that Jimmie and Annabelle were old enough to be trusted by the river, whilst Barney and I took a walk up to the play area. I left them with a host of questions "how close to the edge are you?" - not close - "is it slippery?" -no- "is it deep?" - no mum, I can see the bottom - "if you fell in, is the edge too steep to climb out?" -no, but I won't go near the edge anyway. So off I plodded with Barney, after all there were plenty of children at the river, and plenty of parents too. However, 4o minutes later when I returned with Barney (yes, you've guessed it!) I discovered to my horror that Jimmie had fallen into the river and spent a good 20 minutes trying to clamber out! Annabelle had been desperate to get help, but Jimmie wouldn't let her as he was embarrassed. Poor Annabelle half thought he would be eaten by an alligator and was in a bit of a panic. The funny thing was, when I went to see how they were, Jimmie just tried to act if nothing had happened, despite being soaked to the armpits, covered in bramble scratches, and bathed in muddy orange slosh! In his desperation to get out before being eaten alive by a gator, he had had to grab onto a thorny bush and climb through it, as the silty edges of the river bank just kept coming away in his hands. Poor kid. I was none too pleased when I found him, but soon felt rather sorry for him.

Despite that initial mishap we had a great 3 nights stay at the High Falls State Park. The area was outstandingly beautiful, and the weather was pretty good (apart from the last night when the camp host came to tell us of a Tornado warning, and we sat through a 6 hour thunder and lightening storm!)

On both the first and second nights there we had a bonfire and BBQ. This was the first time in our trip that we'd been able to sit around a camp fire, so we really enjoyed it and made the most of it. All through the camp ground we could see the glow of various camp fires. The people next to us had their guitars out and were singing old American country songs. Although it was barely audible from our lot, but it added to the ambience of the camping experience. Dan tried to dry the trainers that Jimmie had fallen into the river wearing, by the bonfire. The steam was rising out of them and I kept worrying they would melt, but was told they were just fine. Moments later they burst into flames and were burnt to a crisp in front of our eyes. But not to worry, at least Jimmie had some flip-flops to wear. But no, the next day he fell into the river again (with his Dad by his side) and soaked his flip flops! So he put them on the fire grate to dry (the fire wasn't lit). Dan came along and lit the fire, and didn't notice the flip flops, so they melted! So Jimmie then spent three days wearing my spare (ladies) shoes!!!

Most of Saturday was taken up with the visit to see E, but I will write a post all about that. On Sunday Leslie came to visit us. Leslie is a very special kind lady and without her our visit to see E never would never have happened. She phoned the prison and organised our special visit. She sent forms, phoned the prison countless times, and basically nagged them until our visit was approved (with minutes to spare!) And all because she also writes to a prisoner, in another state, and understands what the letters and visits mean to them. She went totally out of her way to help us, and when she visited she even brought two HUGE boxes of real American do-nuts with her (which I have to say, I could totally get addicted to - so if I come home twice the size, you know what's happened!) Here is a pic of Leslie and I outside the RV. We sat for several hours and talked about prison life and the death penalty etc. She told me lots of stories about prisoners who were found innocent after years on death row. She is going to see her pen-pal in Texas this week who she has also been writing to for many years.

After she left we headed out for a bit of a nature walk with the kids. We walked down by the waterfalls and over the rocks. At the start of the walk there was a big sign saying that people had died on the rocks and water, climbing and dieing from falls or in flash floods. So I sat the kids down and told them that under no circumstances were they allowed to climb on the rocks, or go into the water. I shouldn't have worried about the kids, for it was Dan that immediately sprang out onto the rocks and started hopping from one to another across the river! My heart was in my throat the whole time while I waited for his certain death, and I gave him a good telling off when he got back to safety!
















Today (Monday) we drove 4 hours back down to the bottom of Georgia, just close to the border of Florida. We are spending the night in a very cheap, not very nice RV park, purely to sleep and use their wifi access! In the morning we plan to drive down to Mexico Beach which is on the Gulf Coast of Florida and begin our 16-17 day journey across the Gulf Coast through Florida, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana. It only takes 3 days to drive it, but we plan to relax lots along the way and take in a lot of scenery.

Georgia was a lovely state to visit. It reminds Dan of Ireland in some ways, but the soil is really orange (like in Australia). It is dotted with pecan orchards and cotton fields, with thousands of the cutest run down little farm shacks. A lot of the people we drove past lived in permanent mobile home estates and seemed to live a very modest lifestyle. There were gospel churches on nearly every corner, and everyone was kind and friendly to us. On our way out of the RV park this morning we were invited to dinner at the home of some other campers. I'm glad to have visited Georgia, to see the area from which my penpal and friend E comes from, and to understand his passion for the place more.

Okefenokee Swamp

Apparently we were all extremely tired last night, as despite the constant roar of hooting trains, we all slept until 10am! Little Barney hardly moved the whole night (I know this as he was sharing a bed with me). The Okefenokee RV Park is basic, but I like it here. I don't know if I could spend 2 weeks here with all the trains going past, but apart from that it is quiet, remote, and seems a nice enough place. The nearby town of Folkston is very quaintly American looking. There's not much in it, and I figure that most Americans wouldn't think much of it, but coming from Ireland it just looked amazing to us.

We spent the entire day today at the nearby Okefenokee State Park & Wildlife Refuge. It costs $5 for one weeks entry in a vehicle which is pretty good for the finances. I think our family could easily spend a week there, if we weren't moving on tomorrow. We took the first option as we came into the park, which was a scenic drive with various stop offs and walkways along the way. Perfect for our family, as it means we can take the home and food (and toilet) with us. We enjoyed ourselves so much that we completely lost track of time and didn't realise that the park had closed!













We spotted a few wild alligators in various parts of the swamp, which was exciting. Half way round the drive there is a short walk to a real old homestead house. The sign on the door reads "Dedicated to the Chesser Family, in honour of the character and lifestyle of all settlers of the Okefenokee". The Chesser family built the 5 bedroom house entirely from wood in 10 weeks. They grew their own vegetables, kept their own animals and made syrup to sell. They were entirely self sufficient, with their 7 children, but both parents also held down full time jobs. There was a guide sitting in a rocking chair at the door, and no other visitors were around, so he sat and told us all about the family and the house. Then we went inside for a walk around. We all really enjoyed this. The kids enjoyed looking in the bedrooms, whilst Dan liked all the outside barns and out sheds. We saw how the family made their own sugar from sugar cane, and maple syrup from the trees nearby. The house and gardens were just idyllic. I could so easily live there!

We drove on a bit and stopped at the board walk. This is a 2 mile round walk on a boardwalk through the swamp. The area we walked through was so deathly silent (when the kids stopped making noise long enough for us to hear the silence). There were various areas along the walk to sit and enjoy the view, but best of all was the tall viewing tower at the end. We passed a man who told us he had found two huge alligators in the swamp, and that he'd left the binoculars in the viewing tower pointing at them, so that we could see them too. And right enough, they were pretty big ones. The scenery at the top of the tower was breath taking. But the kids were behaving like wild things by this point, so I took them back to the RV and let Dan enjoy the silence up there for a while. It was at this point, when we got back to the RV, that we realised the time, and that the park had closed!

On the way back to the RV park we stopped at the Folkston Funnel to view the trains. However, despite one coming past our RV park every 3 minutes, not a single train came past the entire 40 minutes that we sat there!

Tomorrow morning we are heading up to Jackson, and staying at a gorgeous RV park there called High Falls State Park, for 2 nights.

Chooo chooooooo!

Do you like trains? Barney likes trains. Dan likes trains. Jimmie and Annabelle don't mind trains. Do I like trains? Ask me in the morning. Its 10.45pm here in Okefenokee, swamp area of Georgia, USA. Yes, we've said goodbye to sunny Florida, and headed north to Georgia. At the moment we are only just over the Florida border. We are heading up to Jackson, to visit my death row pen pal, as I mentioned before. Okefenokee is a half way point between where we were, and where we are going. Okefenokee swamp is a 700 square mile area of swamplands and wildlife.

This morning we got up early, packed up our garden table, chairs and BBQ into the boot, and said goodbye to Pat and Jim (see photo) who have been lovely to us, and made the start of our trip so easy. We all felt a bit sad leaving them, not to mention leaving the comfort of their luxury RV resort!

The drive to Jackson would have been 7 hours of freeway had we done it one go, so we decided to break it into two trips and go the scenic route. Today we drove about 4 hours, but we broke it with various stops (breakfast in a supermarket car park, a stop at a fruit stand, and a visit to St Augustine). St Augustine is the nations oldest city! It was such a beautiful place full of the most amazing buildings. We really would have loved to spend a few hours there but we couldn't find anywhere to park the RV, so we enjoyed it as we drove through. We did manage to stop momentarily for the kids to visit the Pirate Shop though (priorities eh).

By 4pm we had found our RV park, checked in at reception, parked up and hooked up our electric, water and sewage. The guy at reception said to Dan "I hope you like trains!" Well, boy, if you like trains, you'd love it here. We are parked less than 200 yards from the busiest freight train line in America! The Folkston Funnel is just a few minutes away. There are approximately 70 trains a day (day and night) passing on this bit of track, all freight trains, all seeming about 6 miles long. We can see the trains from our RV window, and because they pass over a railroad just by us, each and every train has to blow its horn about 10 times on its way through. Oh boy, we may get no sleep for 2 nights! But Barney is loving running out to see how long the trains are.

Dan and Barney took a walk up to the track earlier on and Barney was given control of the camera. Apart from the photo with him in, here are some of the pics he took. The big spooky tree is in our RV park. It is covered in Spanish Moss. This grows freely on some of the trees here, a bit like ivy does at home. It makes the trees look kind of spooky and haunted. I love Barneys photo of that one. (It's worth clicking on that photo to see it in better detail). The second photos if of Barney covering his ears as a freight train comes through. The next is out RV parked up in the camp, and the last is our RV park from the train track. Not bad photos for a 4 year old.